


weak.

by riewritten



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Depressed Oikawa Tooru, M/M, anxious and depressed oikawa tooru is my fuckin jam (yes im self-projecting go away), chubby oikawa too!!, del leave me alone, im an oikawa tooru apologist im sorry, this is rlly short lol sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10137377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riewritten/pseuds/riewritten
Summary: Oikawa Tooru is a soft boy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feelings for Oikawa and I sure love to self-project into characters.  
> Check out my tumblr!

Oikawa Tooru is a soft boy.

Despite the brutal fitness regime that volleyball requires, he still has baby fat around his hips. Makki often comments on that, squeezing the flesh jokingly, making Tooru squeal and bat him away. Mattsun prods Tooru’s stomach; teasing him about how he’s got to watch his weight otherwise he might get fat. Tooru, indignant, chases him around the court for half an hour after that. Iwa-chan usually doesn’t say anything about Tooru’s body (Tooru finds that he appreciates that, although he does sometimes wish that Iwa would compliment him more for things outside of volleyball).

Hajime thinks that Tooru’s smile is probably the most beautiful part of him. No, not the smile he gives his fangirls, the I’m-the-best-and-I-know-it smile. No, not the smile he flashes at his opponents before a game, or the one he gives his team. He means the real one, where his lips only curl up slightly and his eyes crinkle with genuine joy, the my-heart-is-thumping-and-I-think-I-might-die-from-happiness-can-you-do-that-Iwa-chan? smile. Hajime knows that he’ll do anything to keep Tooru from losing that smile.

Oikawa Tooru is not a delicate boy.

He’s been bruised and broken too many times to be compared to a porcelain figure. Playing volleyball, doing what Tooru does, it’s hard to avoid any kind of shattering. But Tooru takes it too far, more steps than he needs, so much that his knee fractures and Hajime’s trust in him is no longer blind. The white brace tethers Tooru to the earth, restricting his wings and chaining him down.

It suffocates him, wrapping around his ribs and crushing them.

Tooru sometimes calls Iwaizumi at three in the morning, filling his best friend’s (boyfriend’s? They don’t know. The lines blur when you are as intertwined as Tooru and Hajime.) ear with panic. He gasps, each breath a slick knife sliding into his lungs, and he cries, blubbering to Hajime about how he can’t do this, his knee is aching and it feels like he’s going to be stagnant forever, that he’s never going to beat Kageyama or Ushiwaka, that he’s never going to stand on the national stage and feel his heart burst with pride and satisfaction.

He’s afraid that he’ll feel hollow forever.

Hajime knows that all he can do is whisper empty reassurances to Tooru, instruct him to breathe along with Hajime and calm down. Sometimes Tooru responds right away, trying to slow down his breathing, hiccupping. Most of the time, though, Tooru remains inconsolable, his mind letting him sink deeper into his toxic thought cycle, of worthlessness and wasted talent. At that point, Hajime sneaks into Tooru’s room, and hugs the pale wisp of a boy as if he’s going to disappear.

Oikawa Tooru is a great many things, depending on who you ask. No one denies, though, that he’s anything but weak.


End file.
